I am struggling with feelings of self disgust and self loathing and am really battling to not eat when I feel that. It seems I am so fat and ugly already that another slice of bread really won't make a difference anyway. Whilst I haven't been going overboard as I am prone to doing, I haven't been on the straight and narrow either. I am eating much better and controlling my portions somewhat better but not enough to lose weight.

Hardly a minute goes by when I am not feeling completely uncomfortable in my own skin. So totally out of sorts with myself. Even my fingers are fat!