Oh please don’t cry or feel sad . Are you feeling any better? It’s hard to get through those thoughts but I don’t want you to do anything so you feel like it PME anytime and can talk about anything that you want. Don’t get sad to not find a job, you just have to keep trying and while that make things that gives you joy like volunteer. Try multiple institutions and not only one so you can get an answer. I know it can be so exhausting to try and try and not getting a job but sometimes it requires a little patient so please don’t be sad or cry, because you have so much value in you and they are the only ones who lose for nothing choosing you, remember that.
Hugs to you If I could I would give you a real one but I’m too far so this will have to do.