Well, Terry, the bolded words in the quote convey to me an image of someone working with words, and for me, the universe of words can't even get close to the feelings I need to go through. I feel I need to take advantage of whatever successful techniques exist that permit one to go back before language, before "thought", before memory. At the moment I haven't the vaguest idea how to do that.

I try to put myself in the situation of a pre-verbal baby, not yet a toddler, entirely dependent on Mom, yet with a Mom who's not interested in "psychological contact" or "communication" or even physical contact. I guess that baby would feel terrified. All of his needs have to be supplied by this woman who's not in touch, who seems to WANT to be "not in touch." He's trapped! She's his lifeline and she dumped the rope! But I can't feel it "all over and inside." Wish I knew what to do. Take care.