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Originally Posted by laceylu
I also had that realization some 20 years ago and it made sense. Life relating to my mom has never gotten any easier, I just understand now. Have you and your T talked about attachment issues? The pre-verbal baby really needs a secure face to look at for reassurance. My mom has low vision and did not know people had facial expressions. She did not even realize that we were afraid of her and her face was confusing. Peace to you.
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My mother's eyesight was fine. She just spent half her time away in a far distant part of her head. She did this all her long life. For very substantial spells. I remember being with her for hundreds of hours during my adult life and putting up with her physical presence/mental absence. She never exhibited any anxiety or depression. She just had a strange relationship to life. Particularly life with others. She dealt quite easily with any form of human contact that did NOT involve intimacy. She ran away from intimacy, ran away to someplace in her head where no one could follow her.
So I'd bet that babies really need reactive, reassuring, communicative faces to look at and attach to, whether mothers have vision problems or other more mental problems. Thanks! Take care!
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