Julia, I'm wishing so hard that you didn't live so far away. I would like nothing better than to have you withing arm's reach. To tell you the truth, I've never had a soft place to land. Don't know what to do with it.

I don't want to cry because if I start, I won't stop until he's gone. It's not that he won't be around anymore. It's like "alone again, naturally." Guess it's the old abandonment issue. He's already starting to work further on John about me being the bad guy.