First of all, I'm sorry that you're feeling down. I've been really in the dumps lately myself. And the whole therapy thing (not finding a good fit) is making it harder

But nobody is taping me without my consent. This is not healthy for you....you may be internalizing this instead of alerting your T to the harm that even this possibility is doing you. Please talk about this, or make a move. I don't know if your bond with the T is a good one, but this raises a real flag for me.

You are in my thoughts!

MCL