Hello Soup, I can completely identify with you so I probably won't be much help. I am exactly the same and in tune with my kids. I know what they need, don't need etc and am also the same with friends but when it comes to me there seems to be a barrier and I don't seem to have a clue. All I can say is when it comes to me I try and remove 'me' and make believe I'm talking to a friend. Weird, but it seems to work a bit.
Nellie