Wow, You are going through a lot with your doctor. What I am reading is that you were holding back information, and they weren't taking you seriously. Honestly, I would call again and let them know that you didn't get a chance to express how serious your situation is. Having thoughts about swallowing a bottle of pills is dangerous. What if you get a strong impulse and can't help yourself?

Write as much and as ooften as you want. That's what the board is for. You'll find much support here.