Did you move to his city or what? And where is he going now? Not that it matters. It does seem that you do what I have done in relationships in the past, and that is, it's all about proving to the other person that they are okay, and that you are safe to love. But that is a) kind of insulting to the object of your affections? b) re-enacting your childhood, hence c) not very sexy. I think you have a good handle on the dynamics being played out here, you're just not getting yourself out of the old game and into a better, winnable one. Or at least a game with no losers. Are you in therapy, or been? I think you could be having more fun than this.