Hi Soupdragon

When I came to therapy, I didn't know that I HAD needs. Like, for real. I bet a lot of us were/are like that.

I couldn't have gone directly from "no needs" to "I know what my needs are and how they could be met". T used to ask me "what do you need?" and I just felt like "what are you talking about?!".

One thing I've seen T do over the course of my therapy is make me ask to have my needs met and then meeting them. Not just emotional and earth-shattering things...things like "could you turn off the fan?". I've probably asked T for more things than everyone in my adult life combined, seriously. Identifying those kinds of needs - it's too cold in the room, or the blinds are triggering me and we need to close the curtains, or whatever - have really helped me recognize that hey, I DO need things. And the more T helps me meet those kinds of needs, the safer I feel identifying deeper needs and asking for help with those.

I wonder if you can think of little things you need? Maybe they are things you are already getting, even. Like "I need a place to come once a week to be able to talk about things and feel safe".

You're not stupid, at ALL. This stuff is really, really hard.

Be gentle with you