First of all Dreamer, you are not wasting our time. This is what we are here for, if we didn't have the time to spend we wouldn't have spent the time reading your post. That may not sound like it but it is a verbal hug to let you know that I am glad that you posted and that you are looking seriously at your problem, that you are going to keep trying.

As far as nobody being able to help you, that is just your exhaustion talking. I have many moments when I am just so darn tired of it all, I just want to stop trying and stop seeing my T because he says the same things that just don't seem to work and can't he see it doesn't work? Isn't he listening? Don't worry to much about it. Keep pushing forward, a little at a time and you will find that things change even when it seems as if nothing is happening. One day you will go in to see your T and something will click and things will start to make sense-either for you or for her. Then the whole process lurches forward and you get a little better.
You are in my thoughts,
Carrie