thanks Innerzone, maybe it is just the type of therapist she is. She could be leaving it up to me. I never saw myself as aloof before. I have asked her about types of therapy for me to deal with the psychosis and she simply says there is none. My pdoc thinks I could benefit from CBT . I also learned from my Community Support Worker that the therapist I have is only meant to be short term, 5 years I think is more like long term so I started getting nervous about being let go.

I've always been very shy, so maybe this is where she is thinking I am aloof. Also the shyness makes it very hard for me to just talk, or ask for what I need or want. Maybe at my next app I can make a bigger effort to be open. As for the knitting , she brought it up, she likes to talk about the projects I am working on. The thing that bugs me is she always tells me how strong I am or how good I am doing, and gives compliments, but really I am having problems, maybe she doesn't know how she can help me, it's been this way the whole five years. Maybe it's time to just ask straight out about CBT or other methods. If I can summon the courage. I don't see her often , on a need to basis because I feel it's more like coffee chit chat. However she is great when it comes to communicating to my pdoc when I can't.