I told my T once that time=distance, that the longer she was away, the farther away she seemed to be. That isn't true, of course, but that's the way it seemed.

I also have told T upon her return about my fantasies - that she will decide while away to not return, that she will decide while away to choose another line of work immediately upon her return, that she will have time to think about me as a patient and decide to terminate me or refer me to someone else immediately upon her return.. all the same basic fantasy that is about wanting and needing her and all that is involved. When she went all the way to Europe I thought I was going to need life support.

T always returns. My fantasies and thoughts are just my fantasies and thoughts and nothing more. She once shared with me that she does think about patients when she is away and she looks forward to returning.

Talk to your T when he returns about how you felt while he was away. It will be an opportunity for him to reassure you and for you to learn more about you.

If you email him with a brief note and a request for a reply (with a note to self that he may or may not reply), it might make you feel better.