((((((dismantle.repair)))))))))))

What tools/resources does your T think you have inside you? Have you asked? Get a list, maybe that could help?

I'm sorry you relapsed, but you are not a failure. Nor are you weak.

Talking to people is hard, maybe find people you trust and talk about how you're feeling and what stresses you out? You don't even have to mention SI if you don't want to.