heh, yeah.

I have been told I must be not really BP if I can do it without meds and I must not really suffer and it is just average person's sad.

It is frustrating. I hate to whine and I hate to talk about some things... I mean, this community as helpful and all, but lot of time when one says something they get the blanket "talk to your doctor" statement. As if they could help. The system is broken and even many therapist refuse to go beyond the surface and standard cliches (I had my friends, students of psychology tell me to just stop reading philosophy books...). I am thankful to deities for sending few people in my life who can just chill with me when I feel lowest of the low...

So the most frustrating thing about my BP and au naturale is there is very few places to turn to. That is why I am kinda hesitant to waste money on therapy, because I would probably hear "you need meds" each time I would come in and be off. People take meds and are still mess and yet they recommend them to you as mean to be get "stable". Well intentioned, but... you see the problem here.