I am sorry that you are feeling so poorly and it angers me that you have had so much pain in your life because you are gay. There is no cure for being gay because it is not a disease or anything wrong with being gay. I too suffer from depression and isolate when it is bad and feel like I have totally screwed up my life and my kids(grown now)lives and every thing I touch. The depression makes those thoughts even worse.

Maybe T would be able to set you up with a substitute T (maybe someone who works in his office?) while he is gone. Mine did that for me when I was in a bad state.I didn't think it would do any good because I didn't know her but when the time came I was really depressed and was glad to have someone to talk to.
You will be in my thoughts.