Thank you for your replies. My computer is not working right so I cant answer in length.

All I know is I am trying one day at a time. I am trying to not be angry, but I must be stashing it in my brain because it just comes out, that I dont understand. I am trying to be patient and understand how to get through this. And I appreciate your kind thoughts and suggestions. I put this thread here to try to see if that helps me put the anger somewhere. I don't know how else to do it. I never thought I hung onto so much from my past. Perhaps the brain is much like a computer, whatever goes in just doesn't come out, is there forever. I certainly didn't expect any of these psychological issues to overcome me and I have been trying to do whatever I can to
regain my optimism and self.

I hope this gets posted, my computer gets stuck.
Open Eyes