Good afternoon Guy.

I'm so sorry to hear about all your pain because of hopelessness. I'm no therapist, but I am hopeful that there is at least one positive influence in your life right now.

Please write one positive thought even if it isn't totally felt so you can end the cycle of such a sense of hopelessness. Anything

One positive thought I had while I was reading your post was at least you are hanging by one thread. I'll bet that thread has something you haven't looked at yet. What color is it? What's it made of? How does it feel? What's it connected to at the top?

We at Pc are here for you and I think asking for a substitute is a good idea. It may be someone who looks at you differently than you are able to look at yourself right now.

You are not your job. You are more than gay. You are able to love your nieces or nephews. You know you are loved by many of us here.