Everyone - thanks for your comments and concern. They are much appreciated. I see the T tonight @ 8 PM. I hope that I can come up with something to discuss. Lately, I am so overcome with hopelessness. I really, really don't like being unemployed and having so little to live on. I am going into my savings to pay for healthcare. I am working temp jobs that pay very little and am considering a attending small school to learn real estate as quickly as possible and transition to something different. I am not sure of of the school's credentials but it is a chance worth taking. Will an employer hire someone in their 50's making a career transition?

As for my personal and love life, well, I have no hope. Socially, I have always been a dud. It's a lifelong problem. The world has changed; people will literally eat the weak alive. Maybe I should leave New York City where it's so competitive? I don't know. Everything is currently on the table and I feel desperate.

I have stopped going to church - I no longer believe that god loves me. And, I am concerned and worried that my T sessions may be leading nowhere. I keep going and trying, and I keep sending out resumes. Nothing.

I am meeting with an employment agency this afternoon. Maybe something will come of it.