Sudano68--It's good to hear you're doing better. It must feel good to have stayed away from the alcohol temptation with so much going on in your life. You mentioned alot about your feelings getting back in the gym. Regardless of how fit you were, it's normal to lose that added conditioning and strength when you stop. It doesn't take long. Added muscular strength if not constantly used will atrophy and be broken done. A similar response happens with aerobic conditioning. I believe it only takes 6 to 8 weeks to lose that added aerobic conditioning. It's normal for anyone.

The good thing is that added muscular strength is easier to regain than it is to get the first time around. You 've already had it --it will come back with alittle gym time.

I've worked out with weights off and on in life and my recommendation would be to be careful about believing you are what you are based on gym /muscle performance. It's healthy to be physically fit and strong and we all will feel better if we are that but try not to judge yourself too much that way. Once you get going again , I bet those feelings of physical accomplishment will come back. It takes time. Everything they say also has exercise working to alleviate depression and stress.

I don't know what to make of the text from your girlfriend. My logical thought too would be to later ask "What were u doing"? If I was in that situation and I knew she was that defensive --- I might ask the next time she called: "Were u all right last night?, it sounded like u couldn't text", and leave it at that. If she 's tired of you being accusatory and looking for u to change--I definitely wouldn't just ask "What were u doing? You've mentioned your insecurity has been a definite issue with her, to me , she might be looking for you to challenge her text. Maybe I'm reading way too much into this as I don't know how either of you interact, but that's how I would think if it was happening to me.