Yeah! If she doesn't want to move to her sister's place which is 4.5 hours away, she sure won't want to move to the opposite coast!

Yes, I know I can live alone. It's not the first time. That time, I had two babies to take care of. The second time, I had John to take care of for the first part of it. When Jerry lured him away from me, I had me for the biggest part of it. I even learned to be content being alone. That was for about six years. When Jerry threw our marraiage away, he threw away 20+ years of history and a good marriage. The last three years he's been here, he has steadily destroyed whatever I had left for him.

When I cry, it's for "what might have been," it's for all the time and love I wasted on someone that doesn't know what love is, much less recognize it.

But what hurts the most, naturally, is my abandonment issues. What ever made me think I could love someone enough to make them stay? What ever gave me the idea that what I had to give was more than just good enough? Let's face it. There is something about me that turns people away from me. Two of my kids won't talk to me and one of those avoids me like the plague.

Yes, I'll be better off alone. I'll have peace, no one's butthole opinion to put up with, no one to answer to. I won't be tortured 24/7 with either argumentative radio talk shows or hideous music. If there is something I can't do and I ask a real friend to do me a favor, I won't get a ration of crap thrown in my face.

So if this is a good thing, why do I feel like a total and complete reject from a horror movie??