I have a very frank question to ask. I apologize if this triggers anybody.

I've noticed that some persons with SA in their past have a part of themselves that wants to re-create a repetition of that trauma. Not in real life, but in the confines of their mind. They engage in mental reinactments of what happened, and respond in ways that bring great shame.

Why would this happen? What would cause a victim of SA to want to imagine being hurt in that way again and again? And why would they respond to it in ways that make them feel such shame? It doesn't make sense to me.

Can anybody shed some light?