I used to do this too after family found out about my s/h so I felt like I couldn't do it anymore so did that when I felt bad instead. For me I stopped doing it eventually, but only after I'd scared myself by half passing out and not being able to breathe. Please, I know that it seems like what you need to do, but please try not to, it's dangerous you could hurt yourself. Sannah's right you DO deserve to be happy! Is there anyone you can talk to irl about how your feeling if you don't want to go to sessions anymore ? If not a family member or friend or something? Xxx