Im so sorry all of this mess is just getting bigger and bigger ..
Only advice I can give is find what ever it is that can help calm you down and do it !
Mediatation? yoga? punching the hell out of a pillow?
Just Relax and know that thinds are going to improve . Remember to be KIND to YOURSELF !

Vent all you want ... Pm if you want ..

Sending you a HUGE hug