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TinaL · Oct 20, 2011, 11:56 PM

Well, I have been in therapy since May. I thought all was going well, but I really can't deny my feelings about a few things. Things I have shared with my T last session.

1. It sounds like he is still scooting me out the door, and he admitted it.
2. The fact that I told him this last session and he really didn't have much to say. Except he does not want me to be dependent on therapy.
3. The new pdoc is leaving at the end of the month. They have a replacement, but I am not sure how long that will last.
4. All my goals are almost met.

I cancelled my next friday appt. I have not seen T in over a week. So it would been 2 weeks before next session.
I don't do this well... but, he said I have made such progress. I haven't cut, or hurt myself or did anything destructive which tells T that I am getting better.
So, I am going to see the pdoc once more... and get my meds from my family doc. I mean if I am all better then why waste T's time.

I tried to be a "good" client and it got me no where. But out the effing door!
I feel like being a disrespectful jerk! I feel like running away and I don't care if I have not hurt myself in sometime. It does not change history...
I am a mess...

My son is still in prison and have not been able to visit due to lock-downs. I am having family issues that have me tired. I have not ridden my bike in 2 days!
I am lost, but better to be lost than to be abandoned.
Yes, I have been reminded by T that I am a person with BPD

Thanks for listening....