Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Suddenly, a week ago, I had a loved one become very ill. That seemed to kick me into hypomanic mode. My depression and anxiety about myself went out the window. Suddenly, I had a focus that absorbed my energies and mental capacities. I was totally absorbed with loved one's needs, which were extensive.
Loved one is very much improved and, seemingly, not in crisis, at present. I have lost my drive and am sluggish and am trying without success to talk myself into taking a needed shower. That is kind of pathetic. I will allow that I do have a disorder. I think, however, that I would better manage my disorder, if I had more "character."
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This happens to all caregivers. It is normal. Don't chip away at your self esteem by saying,
"I would better manage my disorder, if I had more character." That statement can be so self-defeating.
I have experienced the same thing at times. What helped me the most was to sit down and write down my present priorities just as they are presenting themselves to me at that particular time. I then rearrange them into their importance and list them 1, 2, 3, etc. Start small, do not try and do it all. Throw in a few fun things. Take a long bubble bath instead of a quick shower. Fix yourself your favorite milkshake. Take a walk. Be creative. You need not to dwell on the negative aspects of your disorder or you will drown in your own pain.
Be grateful for the opportunity of helping your loved one out. Not everyone has that privilege. Keep in touch with the individual. Perhaps he/she can use some after care ocassionally.
I know you will find something to fill in your hours just because you are aware of the problem but remember it is not a character flaw. I suspect you have much more character than you realize right now, so do not panic.
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Remember, no matter how many times you go down ... come up for air!
