oh yea I do remember. In fact I just went through the transitional process of where my therapist and I decided it was time to find someone new. Even though we both planned out what was going to happen when that time came I ended up relying on that therapist for making that final decision.

Ok back track - because of my history with dropping therapists and therapists leaving or switching me on to someone else for what ever reasons, they felt they were not qualified for my problems and the stress of my abusers, lack of money, they got fired or laid off, burned out and so on. So many reasons packed in this history of therapy professionals in my life.

Anyway During my very first session with SKR in 2001 I told her flat out I knew our time was limited just because every professional I have had was there for 2 years or less. The people I have met along the way during my public life also had a history of the same professional for 2 years or less so I needed to know how committed she was to this. She said she was going to remain on the case at the very least until my son came home. And she did that my son came home 14 months later (2002)and she was still here 9 months later when he was put back in care to go through a treatment program. and she was still here at that 2 year mark (2003) dispite a DHS workers efforts to split us up. and she was here at the three year mark (2004) dispite the DHS caseworkers efforts and the therapy agency went through lay offs because of a government cut backs during that whole previous year.

As you already know from my other posts SKR and I within our first year together realized that we had become friends past what was ethically allowed so we had to decide then what to do about it. We both decided that we would continue with our therapy relationship and place our budding friendship under lock and key so that we could remain together as therapist and client, and that no matter where we lived be it where we live now or one or the other or both moved out of state, or her work schedule didn't allow much time together and I became a rich and famious author of my published book LOL that we would always be friends.

At that time we set up our plans in case a day came when one or the other of us decided our locked friendship was breaking free and interupting my therapy process. After that we had many discussions about how to get through the ethics law of one year no therapeutic contact. It never did. SKR and I made a great therapeutic team so much so that the things we did in therapy jumped me years ahead of where most DID clients are in the therapy process for DID.

Anyway long story short the stress of the DHS caseworker Cynthia attempts to come between SKR and I, SKR being one of many great therapists with this therapy agency that got laid off solely because they hadn't been with the agency 5 years which was the time frame that the agency used in deciding who to lay off, on top of that a relative of SKR's died resulting in her traveling out of state because she was the will executor chosen by that relative. On top of that some aspects of the 24/7 therapy program that SKR and I developed was very exhausting and stress ful at times.

It finally came down to the both of us realizing that eventually therapy time had to go or we were going to lose one or the both of us in the process orf holding on to the therapy time..We knew this at the time she had gotten laid off (6 months before we gave notice to the court of our searching for a new therapist)

When she got the news that she was definately on the lay of list we discussed it in her car on the way home from one of my therapy sessions. We started our previously made plans for changing our therapy relationship into a friendship relationship. It wasn't something we talked about doing during our car discussion. We both just did it.

I knew the tansition from client therapist relationship to freidship relationship was going to be hard because we had had many disscusions about the process but I didn't think it was going to be so hard so I declined SKR's offer to get me set up with a new therapist I told her no I didn't want anyone else and if I couldnt have her for a therapist I would finish what we started alone. My therapy progam was completely self sufficiant. I could do this and I will make it.

I stopped erasing any messages I got from her on my phone voice mail. We both made double sure that I had everything on track. She started slowing down on my sessions from once a week to once every two weeks and a phone call in between.

Then that switched to monthly face to face and phone calls every other week, and then no face to face therapy just my dropping off my journals, artwork and workbook activities at her home. she would call and let me know if she felt I was on track and if I was missing looking at something.

She collected and gave me things that I could add to my therapy program. I put those items aside for the one year time frame so that when she couldn't talk to me I had those items to fall back on.

I contacted our state board of certified and licensed clinical social workers and found out that I could write to her but she could not repond in any way during that one year.

I wrote a note to myself letting me know what was going on when it was time for her to not call me any more. in case I could not remember what was happening and why.

Then when she thought I was ready she stopped the phone calls. And I did great for a while but I could feel myself slipping back into depression and didn't want that to happen so I escaped the whole situation by going into my mental safe place.

This turning a therapy relationship was harder then I had though. One day I was in rapid switch. I knew something was wrong but I could not stay aware loong enough to do anything on my emergency list. It was like a death to me.

A friend called me because she hadn't heard from me that day. She tells me that she talked to me in so many memory pieces that she could not understand anything but I needed SKR but would not call SKR. and I could not explain why - that I had to go a full year with no contact so SKR and I could be open friends for the rest of our lives. Somehow my friend got SKR's home number from me placed a call to SKR letting her know I was falling apart . I don't know what they talked about I don't dig my friends for information.

I was finally able to stay aware long enough to free write what I was thinking and feeling and dropped it off to her house. SKR wrote me back asking me if I wanted her to help me locate a new therapist so that I would not be hurting anymore.

I took her up on the offer but the only reason I did was because I knew it would put an end temporarily to this no contact phase we were in.

I was in a support group and liked what someone was saying about their therapist that happened to still be at this same therapy agency. My therapist picked me up and we went to the agency office to open my file so that I could see this therapist to see if I like her. SKR also had two other choices for me in other therapy agencies. I knew the longer it took to choose a new therapist would mean the longer it was before the ethics one year time frame ended and I wanted to get it over with.So when My first choice fell through because of too many on that therapist caseload I agreed to let SKR, her supervisor E and the intake therapist make the decision. I told SKR if it was going to be left up to me I would find a problem with each one just to keep her on the case.

LL was decided and agreed upon because from E's point of view LL was the one that is the DID professional with the agency and I had DID. My point of view I don't care who I get as long as this one year gets done and fast.

SKR went with me to that first session with LL and the next day I went to SKR's house. She asked what I thought and I told her - "she's a stiff with potential" Stiff meaning too formal and textbooky. But with potential meaning maybe after I see her for a bit she will lighten up. she has read the reports by Cynthia and the psych eval that Cynthia had set up by leading the testing professional to believe that I was totally nuts and dependant on SKR for EVERYTHING.

So SKR went to the next appointment with me and then at the thrid SKR said "I won't be coming next time so and so will be ok right?"

That told me that SKR was ready to start the one year time frame and basically asking me if I was ready too. If I had said no to her statement she would have continued to go to appointments chacking out the other two choices for therapist. I looked at her and told her yes meaning I was ready for this one year time frame to start again and this time I would be ok.

Then for the next year I kept myself on track so we would not have to start the time frame over with. My friend who had allerted SKR to my falling apart on the phone was great. She called me twice a day and I went to her place almost every weekend.

SKR had the hard part of making sure that she did not anser my many phone calls to hear her home voice mail message. If I showed up at her house no matter how much I tried to catch her and talk with her she had to avoid me and yell at me and make me go home.

It was hard so hard on the both of us but we made it past that one year. I started getting to know LL and at times completely confuse LL because she did not know of the ethiclaw of the one year time frame. and did not know that SKR and I had decided a full 4 years before this that we would remain friends should we ever had to drop therapy together. LL saw the situation as my being in denial of losing a therapist. Sometimes this irritated me because LL kept trying to get me to tell her how I felt about losing my therapist but I also figured out that it bothered LL that she could not get me to face the loss of my therapist. I was like a broken record skipping on "Im not losing SKR just the therapy time" and quote the ethics law. The more she pushed to get me to talk about losing SKR the more I pushed back by saying I was not losing SKR just the therapy time and that has been dealt with and quote this ethic law.

Finally the one year timeframe came within a week and LL went to find that law I kept quoting and then with print off of it appologized and admitted that SKR and I were not doing anything wrong by remaining friends.

Even though SKR and I are friends now not therapist and client the things that she and I did to prepare for dropping the therapy time definately helped because I toll you it was 1000 times harder not having therapy time with her. If it wasn't for the things we planned and our many discussions about the process before actually carrying the plan out I never would have made it through and most likely would not be here today.