Getting back to therapy, your feelings should not be dependent on what his feelings are, if that's what you're getting at? Would you take different steps in your life if he said something about he felt towards you? Otherwise, he SHOULD let you feel for him what you do, and work through those feelings, until you see him less as your savior and perhaps more as your guide through this difficult time in your life as you attempt to leave your abusive husband and find a better life for yourself. You are looking for a safe easy way to leave - T gives the word, he takes the responsibility, but he loses everything. If T says nothing, as he is now, you must act on your own, and you risk everything. So you are being disingenuous when you say you just want a "tactful" little yes or no; his response has huge implications, both IRL or therapeutically. I'm going through the same thing, I get it. Except for the gun-toting husband part. But I have psych-savvy girlfriends very disdainful of these fantasies.