Quote:
Originally Posted by ginger1776
Does anyone else out there si because they hurt so bad on the inside, physical pain is better? this is probably a stupid question but idk i guess it would be nice to see with my own eyes that im not alone. my emotions get so overwhelming that i start to go numb and sort of space out and it scares the hell outta me. so i cut to interrupt the emotions-numbness cycle. I've tried to stop cutting so many times. the longest ive gone is three months. I just can't seem to get away from it. its controlling my life.  |
This describes me exactly. I get overwhelmed, I dissociate and SI - then I feel better. I am seeing a T and don't think I would be able to deal with this without T's help.
You are definitely not stupid, you have just found a way of coping with your emotions that works in the short term - it releases endorphins which are our bodies natural way of soothing ourself. It's just that SI can lead to infections and permanent scarring and guilt, so it is good to explore other ways of dealing with our feelings.
Take care and be gentle with yourself - Soup