Hi gulas. I haven't had a beer since last sunday. But i have the urge to drink now. And its only 1.15 pm. I'm fighting it. But i'm scared i'll drink this sunday also. The Saints are playing again and i'd always drink for thier games. Besides drinking every day. That's what happened to me last sunday. Before that i hadn't had a drink for 4 days.

I'm bi polar too. I don't know if that has anything to do with it. But i've had some traumas in my life that i know i drink to get them out of my mind.

I've been drinking for 25 years, since i was 15. It started out going down to bourbon street and the clubs to drink. Now i drink alone and at a set time during the day.

Today is friday again. And i'm going to try and make it to the AA meeting down here. We only have one with just a few people there. I tried it about 4 years ago and was only 1 of 4 people there. With them talking about liquor so much i couldnt resist and went out and bought me a case. And damn near drank the whole thing. I never went back. I just continued drinking. In 2009 i quit drinking for almost a year except for special occasions. But came back to it every day. Now i'm in a rut and don't want to quit for good. I'll stop drinking evryday, but i want to drink for special occasions. I wonder if that can be done.

I wish i was as strong as you all are here. But i'm being pulled back and forth.