When bi-polarity is left untreated or improperly managed-either with meds or with meditation or diet or exercise, or some combination of all of them-the bi-polar person self-medicates. For me, the bi-polarity of my late 30s really intensified and therefore so did my self-medicating. Tried half a dozen meds but none worked as well as alcohol. So I thought. But in actuality, alcohol actually makes it many times worse, the body chemistry gets altered and your life can really get away from you. I am still recovering from an episode in March of 2010 that saw me do some stuff that I never would have dreamed myself capable of. Like I said, it gets away from you.

You need to stay away from Bourbon St. I drank there too, while staying down on Carondelet, trying to get a ship out of the union hall there. Also, find a bigger meeting. Should be easy to get online and locate half a dozen in your area. I'm going to one tonight myself. It's usually 20-30 people, so if you don't feel like talking, there's no pressure. I encourage you to listen but also to talk talk talk at these meetings, even if it just to say a few words about whatever is in your mind at that moment. I never sense that anyone is judging me at meetings. They may go home and ridicule me up and down but at the meeting, everyone is cool. I encourage you to go especially on those days when you don't feel like going. When that happens to me, I'm always pleasantly surprised by how good I feel after the meeting. Around here there are noontime meetings which I go to when I'm in town. Be flexible, if you find yourself in a different section of town one day, look for a local meeting. I always take something away from the meeting, even if it is just a piece of good cake and a cup of coffee.

Your mid-day cravings are identical to mine. Of course I still get them and I also sometimes get them at a meeting. I have gone directly from a meeting to the bar; however, I honestly believe I will not do that again. The thing to do is tell the group, say to them, dammit, I came here to get sober but all this talk makes me want to drink. Be honest, you can't go wrong. Get some phone #s, make calls to people you like when it's 1:15 in the afternoon and you are dying to have a beer. If you're going to watch the Saints, do it away from the sports bar. Buy yourself a six pack of Mountain Dew. Don't try and convince yourself that you can go to the bar and not drink. I've tried it, it doesn't work. Be patient with yourself and you can turn your life around. I'm pulling for you. Have a sober night and drop us a line anytime to let us know how you're doing.