"He also noticed that I often give myself the same bad advice that my mother gave me".

That's very I'd say you did good at therapy last night, trying to understand ourselves and then have others understand us too is what we all want I think.

You sound a bit better today. Your first memory hurt my heart. Keep on Guy! I hope you find what it is you can enjoy without the tapes of your mother running in your head.

Hankster's writing idea might be a possibility. You write very clearly. How about a best seller? Non-fiction still out sells fiction by a longshot. I don't recall the exact title, but there is a book about the boy called 'it'.

You have lived such an incredablely difficult life with ups and downs and yet, there you are. I have not idea if you enjoy writing and reading but you KNOW how to write. Many people write a book to use as a cathrsis experience.

I know I'd love to read an auto-bio by YOU. You love tennis. Your therapist has told you how 'normal' you function considering how you grew up. Remember "Renee Richards"? I've read by her books. You live in NYC. Great back drop material. You want to be understood. That's what I wanted when I read Renee Richards first book, and was still interested when I read his second autobio.