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Originally Posted by cook32263
Not sure if this helps, but I dated an Iraq widow for awhile and I was miserable. 99 percent of the conversation was about him...pictures of him everywhere, post on facebooks on how much she missed him and loves him.....i was her friend at first to help her thru it but eventually i couldn't be in a relationship with her. It was way too soon for her. She is now on her 4th boyfriend after her husband was killed. I feel bad about it all but at the same time, alot of it is her fault. On one hand she wasn't/isnt ready for a relationship, on her other hand, she wants to be in a relationship with someone to help her cope with the loss. Not in anyways fair for the other person.
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I've thought about that and she has talked a lot about him in the past, but I understood all that and she and I were still inseparable and it was all good. She actually came up to me today at lunch and started talking. She's starting to come around. I have no problem with her talking about him and I'd actually encourage it because I know that the love she and I share is and always will be different than what she shared with him.
I won't ever let her forget him, much less demand that she does. I will always help her remember him because she's just a really special lady. I just keep reminding myself that this is really "fresh" for her right now. She and I have talked about him in the past and it never bothered me because of the relationship she and I had. Like I said, she's finally starting to come around to her old self.
I appreciate your comments and feedback because it all helps. She'll be okay because she's a very strong person. We've actually discussed this. She has pictures and other things to remind her of him, but they are very subtle and most of them packed away. She moved on actually, but the one year anniversary hit her hard. I think we'll be okay. I'm just giving her the time she needs to regroup and be ready to move on again.