I totally get that. I remember a time when I was fearless, made decisions on my own, went where I wanted, stayed up all night. I had so much strength, and a world view. I had dreams and beliefs and I had no reason to think that I wouldn't acheive my dreams. When I started the episode that lead to my diagnosis, that stuff started to float away from me.

I feel like I am left, a burned shell of a building after a fire. I am finally, after almost three years, feel like I want to find myself again. Call it cliche, but I think it's time to be a phoenix rising from the ashes of the last few years. It isn't goiing to be easy, so I'll ask for help along the way.

I am thinking that there was some episode or feeling that led to your diagnosis. I feel that mine was a long and complicated one with episodes within episodes, and it will take a long time to fully heal from that. I am wondering if this is the case for you too. We need crutches while the broken leg heals.