I also agree. Trust your gut with this. And it does not mean you don't greive, or care, or any such thing. I choose not to attend my own fathers funeral as it would have been far to triggering for me. He was also bipolar 1 and died to suicide/ complicated. I was still dealing with my dx and episodes that were pretty bad. Not to mention other emotions. No one thought anything bad of me not coming. I also agree your friend would not want to cause you more pain or suffering either.