((((((Readytostop))))))

What if you took a break until after the holidays? I SO get wanting to just get AWAY from therapy. I took a break in the spring and it ended up being exactly the right thing for me. It was open-ended and I ended up only taking a break for about a month, but it gave me a chance to free up some money and time, and to just be in my life and not deal with the hard parts of therapy for a little while. When I went back, I was ready to finally move into the really hard stuff that I'd been avoiding for 3 1/2 years. I didn't know when I went back that I was going to finally get into that stuff.....but it seems like the break gave me some confidence that I didn't have before.

I'm pretty open with T about my feelings, so I tell him occasionally how important he is to me and how much he's helped me...but I did want to be sure to say that stuff before the break just in case the break ended up being really long (or permanent!). It was a super teary session, but I tried to just be open and honest. He didn't know before the session that I was planning on a break, so first we talked about that. And then we talked about our feelings about the break and about my therapy. I know it's hard sometimes to sit there face to face and say those things, so maybe you could write it in a card to give to him before you leave (or to read while you're there).

I did miss T, but since I knew that I was going to go back eventually, it was sad, but not unbearable. And I learned a lot about myself and how far I had come in therapy, and that made me feel close to T, which helped.

Sounds like you're in a hard place. Sending lots of hugs.