Well, so much for getting sober-

Here I sit after six shots of rum. What a mess. I know I should just "come out" and ask for help. But how do I confess? I have made so many lies to cover up stuff. I have epilepsy so now I am off work for 4-8 weeks trying to 'get it together'. I feel so F'd up and lost. I just want to check out but that is not an option. I am so sad. I have a head Dr. I see but he is $100 an hour. I know I can call him any time on his cell phone and he is there for me. He is not like a regular doc.- he puts his heart and soul into my case. So I am not alone. I can confess to him if things get too bad. Should I? I don't know yet. I cannot tell my hubby-that's so sad....