Thanks for the feedback!

I am know in my heart that I probably will not get better if I am still working at my current employment. It is very difficult for me to go to my groups in the morning because when I go into work I am attack with whatever negativity that particular day brings and whatever mood my co-workers are in and how much they decide to hate me. It's been really hard going from an extremely emotional yet very supportive place like group to work and pretend like I'm going to carry on with the rest of my day just fine.

I deeply want a new job. I want to keep working because I've never liked when I am just sitting around at home. Plus, I have to work to support myself. I have finally found the energy in myself to start the job hunt. Finally finished updating my resume after several months of putting it off. I applied to some positions and got calls back (that is amazing in my book!). But they didn't pan out in my favor. Healthy me would just take the rejection and anxiety of all this and file it away and keep moving. But depressed me now has a hard time with a process that is inherently not kind. I am always worried about how my depression effects the potential employee I am projecting. Can these people tell I am really broken inside? So this might not have been the best timing to decide to look for another job.

I am seriously considering a leave. I know my bosses and HR will not be supportive as 4th quarter is the busiest time of year in my industry, but I have to look out for me now. I know that this will expose me and will make me a target since news about everything goes around the office at the speed off sound and I also know that they will probably find a way to fire me as a result since they have done the same in the past to people who have had to take medical leaves. But I do not think I have much of a choice if I want to get well. Which I really do...