(((Venus))), hang in there. I was raised religious and now I would probably describe myself as a novice buddhist more than anything. Agnostic at best. It's hard sometimes not knowing if there is a point to all of this, but when the days are hard I try to remember that when I have felt that way before it has always eventually passed.
That is the best faith I can give myself, and maybe to you... that as sadness and despair has passed before, so will it pass again. Have faith that the sunlight will shine through the dark clouds once again. I promise it will.
Sometimes it helps me to sit and stare at flowers, or something else beautiful and miraculous in nature. A spider on its web, dewdrops on the grass. It's a form of meditation for me, and it helps to realize that, even if there ISN'T a purpose to it all, it doesn't do a thing to detract from the beauty of what IS. Sometimes it can be enough that beauty exists for no reason at all... which is sort of spectacular. Like artists creating art - it doesn't require a purpose, simply an expression.