That was a good one thank you!
The problem is i feel guilty for thinking /assuming or believing such horrible things about my mother - who would give me all attention as far as i can remember.

I am also afraid like no one - can believe - so..... i feel bad for believing myself - as much as out of all the things i did believing it was real had a sense of letting go and of getting sane. It was a very strange feeling - after remembering - if i can call it so - a moment of freedom and awareness of the now.

I am afraid of people dissipation because sadly i am very sensitive and dependent. I really wish i wasn`t.