For me, like hankster said, sometimes just writing out what I want to tell T is helpful enough (I don't have email contact with T.) Sometimes I'll just call and listen to the message on Ts voicemail (I have permission to do that whenever I need.)

If I'm feeling like I really need T, I will often write out the message I want to leave. I'll then wait a bit, and if writing it out didn't help, listening to Ts vm message didn't help, then I'll actually call and leave the message. I have yet to ask T to call back, though.

T once told me that it's better for me to call before I hit crisis mode, then to wait until I'm in the middle of a crisis, or worse, not call at all, and then explode (figuratively, of course) at my next appointment.

But like you said, I've been so self sufficient for so long, it feels really strange to be able to reach out for support.