Hi there,

The reason you feel that you are not good enough, is because you believe that you have to live by other's standards. You are much too precious for that, dear one. Other's standards are often not projected at themselves, but at others. If they spent half as much time reflecting on their own actions, and not on the actions of others, they would be much happier.

In other words, it is easier for them to critisize than it is to be honest with with themselves. It is, and always will be, a projection on to you, of who THEY are. Who is to say that you used to be a 'screw-up'? You used to be like that, by whose standards? WHO is in the position to judge you? NO-ONE!!!! Do they know what you have truly had to overcome in your past? Do they know what you have to overcome now? Do they know how much resilience, fortitude and courage it takes to come back from the brink, and how much it takes to make it through the day sometimes?

Hon, give yourself a big hug. You are not a performing seal, who needs to come out every day and do a show for these people, so that THEY might be momentarily 'happy'. You are a person and human being in your own right. You are entitled to be as you are and how you are. You are your own self and deserve to persue greatness, joy and contentment for self, as you see fit. This is your journey, not theirs.

I don't know who these people are to you, but let them go. I am not saying that if it is family, to never see them again, I am saying that in order to be free, acceptance is key. You cannot change how they behave towards you, but you can change how you percieve YOURSELF and that is the most important thing. Once you can unconditionally accept that fact, the darkness will start to lift. It is not an easy road. It requires changing habits of a lifetime in some cases, but it can be done. Do not approach with anger or self-pity, but approach with love for self and the knowledge that you deserve better. Telling people that you deserve to be treated better does not work, if you are not living by those same expectations yourself. I learnt that lesson the hard way, many times over

Take good care of self, and all else will follow.

Michah