Thank you all for the replies. I really want to say more, but I just can't right now. Having a real problem engaging in things and it's frustrating me! I'm going to try writing in my journal for a bit.
Some quick answers to the questions asked...
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Do you know what helped you before with your depression? Are there some things you could do that may help? Exercise, good food, rest, being with people etc..?
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Last time, I made major life changes, which kinda jolted me out of depression...quit my job, moved to another state, etc. This time, though, that's not really an option, and not something I want to do. Yes, being with people can help, spending lots of time with my dogs, rest, writing in my journal, those are all helpful too.
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Do you know what it is that is making it hard for you to share with T?
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Fear. For me, saying something out loud to someone else makes it really real. If I don't admit that I'm feeling the onset of depression, then it's not real. If I share this with my T, it becomes real, and I have to actually deal with it.
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How does depression feel, for you? What scares you the most?
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For me - it's an emotional and physical retreat from the world around me. I get lost in my own world and try to stop participating in the rest of the world. What scares me the most - becoming suicidal again.