My parents used to work a lot and left me at other people's houses while they were at work. I used to stay at this one house where some things happened that I still remember. I used to play with this boy at the house, and his little brother. For the most part, I used to get along with the boy, but there were times when the boy used to beat me, and his mother would watch and laugh about it.

One day, a cousin of his decided to take us and another female cousin out in the woods. He made us strip down, and made the girl have oral sex with me. He made the other kid take his pants down and watch us. I think we were only 5/6 years old. The older kid was at least 12. I don't remember what else happened. The last thing I remember is another little kid that stayed at the house somehow found us out there and the mother came and took us all back and spanked us. I found out later that she lied to my parents about what happened, and said we were just 'experimenting'.

Anyway, I noticed that I have problems that sound like sexual abuse problems. I have trouble with identity, self-image, and confidence. Whenever people touch me, I automatically spring back. I've never been able to have an orgasm during sex. Sex seems to be somewhat disgusting to me.

Does this sound like a sexual abuse? I know a lot of people have way worse stories. It doesn't seem like much. Maybe the symptoms could be something else, like a personality problem.