Anger is an emotion. Part of abuse is being told what to feel, what not to feel.

The abuse is over, Anika. You may feel, now. All the emotions. You can feel them thoroughly. Let the anger wear itself out. Until you can do that, the abuse--telling you what you may feel--goes on.

Part of my abuse involved telling me it was my fault, I made him do this and he didn't want to. This tied sh into it all for me, I finally figured out in therapy. I was amazed when I finally understood how much of abuse was passive-aggressive, him finding ways to manage me into abusing myself.

It can get better. But for me the pain didn't begin to go away until I learned how to be angry at him & let myself be. I had to get actually fist-swinging, screaming furious with him before it really started to turn around for me. I didn't know myself that day, but then I got my life back slowly.

That's how it was for me, anyway.

s, Anika, .