My T has been "gently encouraging" me to reach out to people.
I do, sometimes... but I think too many people know too much about me (i.e. 6...) I hate that. I feel like a burden, or a bother to all of them.
I hate that they know so much about me.
I just want to push everyone away. I should.. I can't handle this.

All the hurt and anger I feel is towards ME. They can't help. They can only say things like, "I know you want this to stop, but it's so simple. Why can't you see that?"
...
me: greeeeeeeeeaaaaat.

Friend 1 *during intervention*: People ahve it worse off than you.
me: Uh, yeah, that's great. Make me feel bad about feeling bad. Woohoo.
friend 2: Why do you do this to yourself?
me: I didn't choose this.

And yet, when I'm visibly shaken and depressed... my mood drops, and I'm alone. They don't bother. They say it hurts them that I hurt, but when I'm totally and completely in a depressive episode, and they KNOW sometimes I need someone to persist in asking me... And say they KNOW i'm not ok... They do nothing.

But I can't be mad at them for this. I can't ask them to accommodate my insecurities...

*finds a hole and crawls into it*