It sounds like he had/has a lot on his plate and was just making you his broccoli which he knew was probably good for him but he didn't particular like?
He doesn't sound like a very good coordinator (as well as a wuss); he should know you and your husband haven't been together for 12 years and that your husband has a girlfriend, what kind of friend doesn't even know that much about his friend? He doesn't even sound like a good friend, never mind love. Not knowing whether he's moving back or not before engaging your interest; sounds like he mentioned the whole thing just to get himself more options.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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