I've been suffering in the deepest dregs of the depressive phase of a bipolar cycle for weeks now--which they don't usually last quite this long, but my dad died 6 days ago after a battle with his health. The depressive anguish coupled with grief has the potential for dangerous thoughts.

I have been literally forcing myself to get outdoors early in the morning to work in my garden a few times a week. That hour and a half help me focus on the needs of my plants and trimming rather than how I feel inside. I try to totally wrap my head around the gardening tasks to forget myself. The bending, squatting, and stretching helps loosen up my muscles and joints as a bonus. When I'm done and come back in the house I am again hit square in the face with my condition, but my body is still reaping the benefits of working outdoors. At least I refocused my attention for 90 minutes out there. Now, I need to find things to wrap my head around indoors. Since my energy is limited, I have to reach deep to force myself to do the normal everyday tasks - but I'm willing to do the work and expend the effort for my health and safety. I just do things at a slower pace, one thing at a time. At the end of the day I can feel that I at least accomplished one, two or three things that were worthwhile (laundry, gardening, cleaning a bathroom, vacuuming or an errand at the store, whatever). When I feel normal, I can accomplish most or even all these things in one day and sometimes more. When in the dark whole I'm in now, I must pick and choose what I do - but I demand of myself that I do something, even if they are little things, otherwise I would totally lose myself. It's a matter of making little or major mind shifts, refocusing to the tasks at hand while blocking out the beastly thoughts that want to consume me. I know I am in potential danger now, I just saw my psychiatrist 2 days ago and he asked me outright about suicide - yes the thoughts are there, the hows are there, the when is NOT there - I won't allow it. He wanted to know how we would keep me safe - I said I'm working hard at it and explained. And I have to be at my father's funeral Tuesday & my son is flying in to do the service. I have things I have to be here for. My Pdoc accepted that - he knows me well and has put me in the hospital before. I am honest with him - we've built up a trust. I will call him if I can't handle it any longer. In the meantime, I try to keep my mind busy, puzzles, chores that I can dig up enough energy to do, journaling, reading when I can manage to concentrate, mindfulness, trying to use positive self talk-sometimes its hard to do.

What are some techniques that you use? Sharing these might help all of us to help each other. Thanks