I have been meaning to post this for a while but never really found the time. Today I had a situation arise that got me thinking about this very subject once again.

I few weeks back I was reading a chapter in a book on anxiety. This particular chapter was on the "recovery" portion of things. It basically stated that once a severely anxious person gets towards the end of there therapy they tend to get a little "overly sensative" when they feel "anxious". Its almost as if, once a person is diagnosed with Panic disorder, they seek treatment which may or may not include medication (either approach is cool). One might think that "all anxiety" is bad and tend to over react, thinking that they are in a relapse or something.

It's kinda funny, not HA HA funny, but just weird funny because today I was at work and really bogged down with a project that needed some derious attention. Mind you, I have been trying to make some head way on this project this entore week but things keep presenting themself and it has taken a back burner. Anyway, last night I set a goal to do nothing but concentrate on this project. So I went in this morning and did exactly what I said I was going to do. However, there is a girl that started with the company about 4 1/2 months ago that constantly needs help. Under normal circumstances I would have been more then pleased to help her as I am her "boss", however, this project needs to be completed by the end of tomorrow. Most of the things she brought to me were not issues that required immediate assistance. But she kept calling me at my desk and then if she wasnt calling she kept coming in and asking me questions that DID NOT need immediate assistance. After about the 7th time (and I am not exaggerating) I sent an email to the ones on my team letting them know that I was not going to be available until next week but told them if something needed immediate assistance to please let me know but if it could wait, to please place it in my box and I would address it next week.

Well, I thought the email would be enough but it wasnt, she continued to come to my desk. Finally, the last time she came in my office I looked at her and said, I really do not have time right now to deal with this. I have a project to do. I suppose she was upset and she left and I didnt see her in my office again today.

Anyway, I was getting angrier and angrier by the minute. Everytime anyone came in to ask me something my anger would build up and build up till finally I snapped. I went downstairs to smoke and vented for a good 15 minutes on a friend of mine that works where I work but not in the department (and I didnt use any names either)

I didnt feel better after I vented, I just wanted to keep *****ing. It was almost like I was getting angrier talking about it.

After all was said and done, I went back to my desk and started thinking that maybe I had made a mistake going back to work because I was so damn angry. Then I started thinking that this is how I used to get when I was there before and I got afraid that I would start having panic attacks again and regress back to what I was when I left there in the first place. I spent a good hour or so going over and over this in my head and the more I thought about it the more scared I got.

Finally, I was able to talk myself down a bit. But it made me think about the Book and if I have become overly sensative to the "anxious" and "angry" feelings. Was I reading too much into it? Were my feelings justified? Why do I think that I should be able to take everything with a grain of salt and not have anything bother me? I know that not to be true, but for so long I have worked on getting away from those feelings and now that I am feeling them again, I am a little afraid.

I know that this post seems like a ramble and I am sorry. For anyone that can get through it, I appreciate it.

I was just wondering if anyone feels the same way. Do you think you are overly sensative to anxiety? Or are we just cautious, aware of our feelings. Afraid?

Thanks

Jen