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(JD) · Oct 24, 2011, 02:56 PM

And maybe there lies the crux of the matter: being able to learn to separate out the reactions of the PTSD, and deal totally with the truth. Also, to realize the truth but not take it personally, but use the anger or other emotions to attack the problem, and not yourself.

Yes, you have been through some really tough stuff!

Yes, the going is still tough.

No, it isn't fair.

No, it isn't going to be fully fair in the end.

It's the PTSD that insists on the high level of "fairness."
There is a lot of wrong in the whole world, and each person's life. We cannot correct hardly any of it.

Keep talking... I think you're doing good relating.

Yes, I learned the hard way about the legal system as well, and still am in the "unfairness" thinking, but alas because of someone constantly reminding me it IS the system, I can pull myself back out of it --personally--and attack the system through it's own channels.

When I state things "simply" it's to try and help you find your "base" your foundational layers upon which to build. If you can solicit your husband's help, it will be easier to do, but it's still all doable.

The security of the property needs to be done either solely by your spouse, or together with you. Feeling it's all your responsibility is not correct. Discuss this and make sure that he helps make it safe TO YOUR LEVEL of need. See if he can realize that he can take this off your plate, and if he does so, your stress level will reduce.

Get your daughter or someone to attack the lawyer issue. I gave you some options, but I know it's too much to follow up on by yourself... but this is a key element in your frustration, and the ongoing delays and denials (which IS the system, btw) can be addressed so at least they know YOU know the game now. Ask the lawyer what you should do now, maybe?

Trust your T in that what he says is truth, whether your PTSD lets you believe he understands or not. You do recognize abusive people, but you still reel out of control (no) thanks to the PTSD)).

I don't know if relating some of my current issues will help you... if so read on.
I have NEVER had a hearing before the judge. I'm allowed to since 6 months of injury. Because of that denial (lack of doing by my attorney from the get go) I was on temporary total disability a few YEARS more than I should have been before moving to PERMANENT total...costing me thousands of lost income... that was to begin with. After 25 years I have still not had a hearing. I thought this year would be it, as ONE of the issues was settled in a past mediation, signed sealed and approved by the court...the paying of my dental doctor...and they still have not paid him. Contempt of court to begin with...but go before the judge to get it done... nope. The hearing that was scheduled is no longer. I have no answers as to why, and my PTSD has me too upset to be assertive right now (instead of aggressive) and I have no one to do this for me, so it waits. And so does my DMD (yet he is good for he continues to treat me inspite of being owed thousands.) Deny or delay what they know they will have to pay... the system.

I understand fully. I will continue to work with you through this as long as I can... I received kudoes from my own psychologist for my perseverance in this thread and for my good replies and advice to you... so in a way, you are getting "professional" help anyway!

Take care O E and breathe... I care.